


In Sickness and in Health

by MouseMinionDuckLover



Category: Cats Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: Fluff, I mean it's mostly from Tugger's POV so that's par for the course, M/M, Minor innuendo and a few small cuss words, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23506372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MouseMinionDuckLover/pseuds/MouseMinionDuckLover
Summary: Mistoffelees catches a cold and the results of his magical dreams, fevers and sneezes can range from entertaining to dangerous. Dealing with the situation can be problematic for Tugger at best, but at least life with a sorcerer is never dull.
Relationships: Mr. Mistoffelees/Rum Tum Tugger
Comments: 13
Kudos: 97





	In Sickness and in Health

**Author's Note:**

> In my head cannon all Jellicle cats can transform from realistic cat form into the humanoid anthropomorphic form we see in the stage production. They tend to do this when no humans are around and they can be their true selves. 
> 
> They refer to their humans as their pets and use cat terms to specify gender, for example, the father in this story is often called "the older Tom" by the Jellicles and the children are referred to as "the kits". Committed couples are mates to them, not husbands or wives.
> 
> The characters First Names, their familiar names given to them by their human families, are as follows with the reasons behind them.
> 
> Mr. Mistoffelees= Houdini, because ever since the teenage son adopted him strange things keep happening around the house and his fur pattern looks like a Magician's tuxedo.
> 
> Rum Tum Tugger= Elvis, because he belongs to the mother of the family and she's a slightly over the hill Rock and Roll groupie. Which explains his wicked cool collar and taste in music.
> 
> Munkustrap=Mithril, because his owner, who does not make an appearance in this fiction, is a young professor of literature at a respectable college and a bit of a pop culture nerd. He named his silver cat after the Tolkien word for silver and though himself quite clever for it.

"Thank goodness the Vet said it was only a cold." Edmund spoke softly as he gently helped his small tuxedo Tomcat out of the pet crate and into his favorite basket in the hall. "She gave him a steroid shot and prescribed plenty of rest."

"Poor Houdini." Edmund's little sister Sarah cooed as she stroked the beloved animal's head.

The teenage boy smirked "I wouldn't go so far as all that. Mum's already gone back out to buy plenty of liver paste and cream. Said something about keeping his iron and calories up." He took his turn scratching the golden eyed feline behind his curled ears. "You little devil! Scare the daylights out of me and now you're going to be spoiled rotten by every member of this household till you're better."

"Speaking of spoiled." Sarah giggled as the family's other cat came sauntering up. The handsome Maine Coon lazily flopped down, easily taking up the majority of the space in the basket, and began grooming the smaller male.

"Be nice to him Elvis." Edmund instructed his mother's brat of a cat in a stern tone. "I mean it. He's under the weather and not up to your antics. So no pouncing, biting, or..." he shot his sibling a quick glance and blushed "Well, you know!"

The fluffy beast pinned the boy with a withering glare and drapped his hind leg over the other Tom's hips just to be spiteful.  
The Tuxedo heaved a sigh and rested his head on his folded paws, slowly closing his eyes as if to say 'I'm done with all of you. Leave me alone.'

The human children took this as their cue to leave but the other Jellicle stayed, purring to aide his mate in drifting off to sleep. The Rum Tum Tugger was already mentally preparing himself for what was to come.  
Mistoffelees had mostly gained control of his magic through diligent practice, and finally passing the hurdle of puberty, but add a cold to the equation and all bets were off. Every spike of fever, dream or sneeze (especially the sneezes!) became a new adventure in Wonderland. It would almost be fun, if one overlooked the dangers of random fires, lightning and teleportation. Tugger's ears fell back at the memory. That had been a long walk home.

Mistoffelees whiskers twitched and his tail flipped a few times making a thump sound against the cushion. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like abracadabra, all the while sound asleep, and before Tugger could wonder what had resulted from this unconscious act of magic, there was a loud exclamation of shock and the sound of two smaller humans running towards the upstairs bathroom.

"Dad are you alright? Bloody Hell, what happened?" Edmund exclaimed.

"No fair Daddy!" Sarah could be heard pouting "You won't let me dye my hair pink and then go do it yourself?"

Tugger laughed loudly but stopped himself quickly before he could wake his nest partner. Oh how he wanted to go see for himself, his pet's normally so serious mate in such a state, but a quite sniffle from Mistoffelees made up his mind to stay put. He leaned forward to lick his mate's nose in equal parts to clean it and show affection. Whoever said married life was dull obviously wasn't the partner of a conjurer.

The following morning...

Tugger had gotten word to Munkustrap that he wanted to speak to him and the Silver Tabby arrived shortly after the little humans were off to school. Tugger's pet had gone to work at the local record store and her mate had locked himself in his study to work on his latest manuscript.  
The Maine Coon snorted a laugh at his brother's wide eyed expression as the middle age man had walked by, hot pink hair and all.

"Hello there Mithril. Come to visit your sibling eh?" He had said in passing. Munkustrap, in spite of his good sense, had instinctively ducked the man's attempt to pet him. The sight was just too strange.

"There is more of such things to come." Tugger smirked.

"You're not in any danger of retaliation are you?" the Jellicle protector frowned.

"No, no. They're used to this sort of thing by now." Mistoffelees smiled sheepishly.

"The older Tom writes science fiction novels, my pet is a life long rock groupie and their kits are a part of that Hairy Otter generation." Tug shrugged.

"Harry Potter, love." Mistoffelees chuckled and coughed a little.

"Whatever." The Curious Cat sniffed haughtily "Point being, they're well suited to us." 

Munkustrap nodded, his mind now at ease. "Alright then. Is there anything I can do for you two? Anything you need?"

"If word gets out that our magician has the sniffles, could you help keep the visitors to a minimum?" Tugger leaned against the hallway wall in his patented devil-may-care manner, but Munkustrap knew he was actually very serious. It made sense. The younger Tomcat was obviously tired out and an endless stream of guests, no matter how well meaning they were, would do nothing to help the matter.

"Who's on your OK list?" He asked and reached out to knead the spot on Mistoffelees neck were mother cats would carry their young. When the Tuxedo purred, instead of protesting at being treated like a kitten, Munk knew he must be more ill than he let on. 

"Victoria and you of course." came the automatic response, then after a moment of thought "Bustopher Jones is alright too I guess, Dad if he has the time." Tugger allowed himself a faint loving smile directed at his mate, who had fallen asleep under Munkustrap's gentle administrations. 

To his credit, the Silver Tabby did not comment on this rare slip in his little brother's too-cool persona. "If something comes up and for some reason I can't make it, is it alright to send Alonzo or Plato?" he asked in a hushed tone, considerate to a fault as always.

"Sure. Alonzo doesn't care for me much but I trust his professionalism, and Plato is Mistoffelees brother-in-law so I know he'll not screw around." the Maine Coon nodded as he walked his brother back to front cat-door.

Just as the two Tom's were about to say their goodbyes, an adorable sounding sneeze came from the hallway.

Munkustrap's ears fell flat against his skull. "Ut-oh." he muttered.

"You don't know the half of it dear brother." Tugger drawled and smirked "Want to stick around and see what comes of it?"

"No thank you." the Silver Tabby put up his paws and backed up to the flap in the door. "Unlike someone I could mention, curiosity will not be the end of this cat."  
Tugger chuckled and waved goodbye as he turned to face the inevitable new disaster, eternally hopeful it would prove to be something simply amusing and not life threatening.

"RIBBIT!"

"Oh Bast..." the handsome Maine Coon debated whether he should go fetch Munkustrap before he could get too far along his way or if he could handle whatever was going on alone.

"Tugger!"

That made up his mind for him, as the normally indecisive Tom rushed to aide his mate.  
"Misto! I'm here, what...Everlasting Cat!"

Frogs, dozens of them. Everywhere! For the first time in all of his nine lives, The Rum Tum Tugger was left speechless.

"I must've been dreaming about that movie our humans were watching last night." Mistoffelees murmured. Very embarrassed, he pinned back his ears and tucked his tail around himself, somehow managing to look even smaller than usual.  
He gave an adorable growl and batted at one of the obnoxious amphibians when it jumped into the basket with him.

"Thank goodness it was frogs and not the flaming rocks falling from the sky." Tugger laughed to try and lighten the mood. Secretly he was immensely grateful it hadn't been the 'death of the first born son.'  
Munkustrap was safe, despite having been disowned Macavity was still technically the first born of the three of them, but Edmund however. The boy was Mistoffelees pet and it would've absolutely destroyed the Tuxedo if he had accidentally caused him harm.  
'Besides,' said a voice in the back of his mind 'Mistoffelees is a first born son. What if it had...'

Tugger was shaken from this frightening thought by the Tom in question posing himself to pounce one of the slimy unwanted guests. "What in Heavyside's name are you doing?"

"We have to get rid of them! What will our pets think should they come home to this?" Mistoffelees had paused in mid rump wiggle and looked positively precious (not to mention quite enticing, but Tugger restrained himself).

"They'll call a pest control company. Come along love, you're in no condition to herd a crowd of croakers. I'm taking you to your boy's bedroom, we can wait it out in there in comfort." Placing on paw on his belt and extending the other, Tugger raised an eyebrow in an expression equal parts affection and stern.  
In his life Tugger had in turns been suave, silly, flirtatious and even downright rude but when it came to those he loved most (his father, his second brother, and most of all his mate) he broke no nonsense. Well... not unless HE was the cause of it.

"But..." Mistoffelees began.

"The only butt I want to hear about is yours, sasshaying towards the cat bed in Edmund's room. Now get moving handsome. The older male is about due to come out for a break, and you know he's going to pitch a fit over this." He gestured at the frogs all over the carpet, bookshelves and small table. Was it his imagination, or were there more than there was a moment ago?

"Oh dear." The younger Tom ran a paw over his sensitive curled ears. He hated shouting. It was his only complaint when it came to Tugger's fanclub. He didn't mind the Queens and other Toms lustful leers or even when they tried to touch the rugged manned male, but their screams of joy (especially Etcetera. Lovely girl when all was said and done but really, must she?). "Alright."

Tugger placed an arm loosely around his shoulders, guiding him carefully through the Horde of hoppers, hissing whenever one looked stupid enough to try and bounce into them.

"I just feel bad leaving such a mess for them to clean up." Misto sighed.

Never looking away from the frogs as he spoke, Rum Tum Tugger replied "Think of it this way. You can't help it, and you certainly didn't ask to get sick. Now compare this to all the times I made a mess on purpose." He raised that eyebrow again, only this time his expression was pure unashamed mischief. "Feel better?"

Despite himself, Mistoffelees smiled, and turned his head to hide it. Gently elbowing his mate in the stomach, he simply drawled "You really are a terrible bore."

"But never boring!" The Maine Coon purred and shut the door to their boy's room, just in time to block out the worst of the string of swears that erupted from the older male human as he discovered the frogs.  
"Leave it to a writer to come up with cuss words that even I've never heard before!" Tugger shoke his head in admiration.

The following day, very early in the morning...

The third day was always the worst. Past experience assured Tugger that if they could get though day three, the magical mayhem would peter out rather quickly after that. Each incident would get less and less potentially dangerous as his precious magician regained control of his singular powers. Usually that meant one rather bad fever, as Mistoffelees tiny but mighty body burned away the lion's share of the remaining illness, that resulted in one heck of a twenty-four hours.

As the sun rose on this dreaded day, two things became immediately apparent. Tugger was completely correct (of course he was, but it was such a burden being right all the time!) and unfortunately, they had some very poorly timed company.

"Tugger!" 

"Help, help, help!"

"What is that thing?!"

"It's a Poticle you idiot!"

"It's too big, it must be a bear!"

"Who cares what it is? Run!"

Electra, Etcetera, Pouncival, Admetus, Victoria and Tumblebrutus. Tugger's fanclub had, by association, become Mistoffelees fanclub. The kittens loved anything that made their idol happy and of course the young magician was worthy of admiration on his own merits. 

From what Tugger could tell, as he raced to the window and caught sight of the six kittens tearing through the family's garden, they had arrived with well meant presents to cheer up the ailing conjurer and had mistakenly crossed paths with the neighbor's mastiff. 

The aforementioned gifts; a catnip mouse, a small ball, a scrap of good quality cloth, a large bottle cap and sadly a helping of salmon paste, were all being chucked at the ferocious Poticle from the safety of a large sturdy tree's lowest branches. 

For the time being the youngsters were safe. The large canine couldn't climb the tree and the tree was old enough to be very thick in the trunk, nothing short of a lightning strike would fell that majestic oak. But oh Heavyside, what if one of them should fall?

Tugger was running through his options. Their human family was used to that blasted dog barking his fool head off at all hours of the night and day, they weren't going to wake until their usual time and that was hours away.  
He could try sneaking past the brutish beast and rallying help from the junkyard but the odds of him getting more than half way across the yard before he was spotted were nil. Besides he would only be putting more Jellicles in danger. The entire tribe together still couldn't fell such a large foe.

"Tugger? I thought I heard Victoria a moment ago." Mistoffelees joined him on the sill, rubbing sleep from his normally bright golden eyes and swaying on his paws unsteadily. The fever had obviously begun. His beautiful jet black fur sparkled with barely contained magic.

"Darling go back to bed, you imagined it. Go on Misto, before you fall over, you're dead on your paws." The Rum Tum Tugger pleaded. This was the last thing he needed. The situation was bad enough without Mistoffelees becoming hysterical because his beloved sister was trapped by a crazy mutt.

"What are you trying to hide?" The conjurer scowled at his mate. Sick or not, he could always see right through his beau's efforts to be clever.

"Nothing! I swear on my honor." Wrong thing to say.

Mistoffelees rolled his eyes and sighed "Tugger, you have been described by many Jellicles in many ways, but honorable has never been one of them. Now what is that obnoxious dog going on about? I can barely hear myself think, never mind going back to bed." 

Just then, as Tugger was trying to block his mate's view out the window, one of the female kittens screamed.

"Was that Electra?" Misto blinked and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Had things not worked out the way he wanted with Tugger, Electra would have been his second choice. He liked her spirit and lovely mix of rust and black fur. Her freckles were quite fetching and... oh maybe Tugger was right. The fever seemed to be getting the better of him, it was hard to focus and the room was tilting ever so slowly...

"EEEEEEEEK!"

"That was definitely my sister!" Suddenly shocked into clarity once more, the small but surprisingly strong Tomcat slipped passed his tall mate and pressed his paws to the windowpane. The sight that greeted him was a scene out of a nightmare. "Victoria!"

"Mistoffelees, calm down, your magic is sparking all over the place!" Tugger flinched as a small bolt of energy struck the wall leaving a burn mark on the wallpaper. Edmund would catch Hell for that later, poor kid.

"Calm down?! Tugger that beast has our friends up a tree, my sister is trapped and terrified!" The magical energy was pulsating in every hue of the rainbow, Mistoffelees body was on autopilot and instinctively reaving up for a BIG spell.

'I am so glad I'm not that dog right now.' Tugger gulped and ducked behind a throw pillow. It wasn't much but anything was a welcome barrier between himself and what was about to erupt out of the mystical Tom's small frame.

A deep, primordial growl rolled from his chest, his gold eyes narrowed and his normally calm features contorted into an expression of rage. "Get... away... from my... sister!"

There was a blinding flash of light, a startled Yelp from the mastiff, and an ominous thud. The silence that followed was even more frightening however, and Tugger wasted no time coming out of his hiding place to see what had happened.

A quick glance outside told him all he needed to know about his friends situation. The mastiff was gone. A runtish shivering chihuahua, wearing a collar three times too big for it, in its place.  
The Maine Coon's handsome face shifted into an expression of unbridled delight. Mistoffelees had out done himself this time!  
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Tugger made a mental note to never truly anger his magical paramour. Everlasting Cat, how could such an unassuming fellow be so simultaneously hot and terrifying at the same time?

Giving Tumblebrutus a quick wave to assure him it was safe for them all to climb down, he gestured towards the kitchen's pet door so they'd know where to enter the house.  
With that done, Tugger turned to check on his mate and his heart skipped a beat but not for the usual reasons. The thud had been Misto collapsing to the sill. After such an immense exertion of power in an already compromised state, he had lost consciousness.

Tugger fell to all fours and swiftly checked the small Tom to make sure he was breathing and hadn't hit his head when he landed. A few moments of anxiety and the feline heartthrob gave a sigh of relief. His mate was fine, just exhausted. 

Mistoffelees was fast asleep as though nothing had happened but sadly that meant he was in no fit state for visitors. The kittens would have to be sent back to the Junkyard, and though he felt terrible about disappointing them, he was in no position to comfort six rattled kittens and tend to a comatose magician.

Picking up Mistoffelees, Tugger glared out the window at the still howling Poticle. Not a shred of sympathy did he spare for the melancholy mutt, instead he hissed his contempt and snarled "Serves you right you bloody bastard! Don't mess with the Jellicles of London."

Placing a chast kiss to his mate's forehead, he was happy to find the big spell had broken Mistoffelees fever. Hopefully, when he woke up later, all this would be over. 

"Tugger!" Victoria called out to him, she was leading the group of youngsters, her pretty blue eyes focused completely on her brother as she rushed to their side.

"It's alright sweetheart. He's just worn out. Nothing a nice long nap won't fix." He purred.

"That was brilliant!" Admetus gushed.

"Did you see Tugger? Did you?!" Pouncival beamed.

"It was amazing!" Etcetera squealed.

"Can Mistoffelees do that to all the Poticles, please?" Electra grinned mischievously.

"Everyone calm down and let Tugger through. I'm sure Mistoffelees will sleep better in his bed. Besides, you want to wake their human?" Tumblebrutus scolded his friends in a hushed tone.  
He reminded Tugger of Munkustrap at that age. So responsible and quick to grasp situations. He decided to mention to his brother that he might consider Tumble for Protector training, the lad could be a great prospect at the rate he was going.

"Thanks Tumble." Tugger gave the Tom kit a quick nuzzle of gratitude, electing envious mews from the others and causing the mature boy to cuff at his own ears shyly.

Gently placing Mistoffelees back in their cat bed under Edmund's own large bed, Tugger gave him another kiss, this one between his ears, and positioned the white female kitten to cuddle her brother.  
"Victoria darling, stay here with him. Alert our boy if anything goes amiss while I'm gone. I have to escort the others back to the Junkyard but I don't want to leave Misto alone. You can spend the day here, my pet will call yours and tell them you're safe once she sees you."

Victoria nodded and set to grooming her beloved brother. He was so far gone into sleep he didn't even purr at this comforting gesture.

"We need to tell the others what happened." Tugger offered as a way of placating explanation. thankfully, it had the desired effect and no protests were forth coming from the other five kittens.  
Bast knew, he just wanted to report to his brother, dump the kittens on the older dames and get back home to his ailing mate.  
Everlasting Cat, it had already been a long day and it wasn't even six AM yet!

Mistoffelees didn't wake up until very late on the fourth day.  
He was famished and, after a quick stop in the downstairs bathroom, he made a beeline for the kitchen. Victoria and Tugger sat together, purring their contentment at having him up and about again.

"Slow down silly!" She giggled "You'll give yourself hiccups eating so fast." The stress from the day prior had melted away now that her treasured brother was on the mend.

Tugger frowned with concern. "Has he ever gotten hiccups while sick before?" If they had a similar effect as his sneezes that could be a whole new problem, since hiccups came in rapid succession. It would be the magical equivalent of a machine gun.

"Don't worry love. Yes that has happened before, and no, nothing came of it." Mistoffelees smiled sheepishly as he began washing his face and paws.

Victoria shot him a look "Quaxo Mistoffelees Jones, don't you lie to your mate in front of me." She scolded him playfully.

The look of relief that had appeared on the Maine Coon's face just as swiftly morphed into an expression of mild irritation "Quaxo..."

"It was nothing! Really, Victoria just wants to embarrass me." The Tuxedo Tom's ears fell flat and his shoulders hunched as he made himself smaller, as cats are want to do when caught in a wrong doing.

"Tell him or I will." The beautiful snow white Queen insisted in a sing-song tone, that somehow managed to sound more threatening than Macavity's most sinister laugh.  
Oh the power of a ruthless sibling! Tugger knew it well, Munkustrap had an entire kittenhood's worth of humiliating stories on him and was not at all hesitant to use them whenever he thought necessary.

"I..." Mistoffelees began, glancing between the two Jellicles he loved best. Finding no hint of a reprieve in ether set of lovely eyes, he rolled his own and relented. "One time when we were kittens," his fur began to sparkle from the nerves this predicament was giving him "I had the hiccups and... bubbles came out of my ears."

The magician chanced a look only to see his sister trying to hid a giggle behind a dainty paw but she wasn't amused by him so much as his mate's reaction to his confession.

Tugger's pale green eyes were wide and his mouth slightly agape. He suddenly grinned like a kitten with a new toy "I want to see that, that sounds cute as Hell!"

Mistoffelees hissed at him "Not for all the Nip in Europe, you can forget it!"

Tugger flopped down so that his head was laying in Mistoffelees lap and he purred, cuffing at his mate's face, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Please darling?"

"Don't you 'darling' me, Rum Tum Tugger. I'll turn your mane blue and your leopard spots lime green!" When the Conjuring Cat grinned like that he really did resemble the little devil for which he was named, what with his curled ears standing in for horns and all.

Tugger gulped and turned to Victoria. "I don't know whether to be turned on or terrified."

Victoria shook her head and smiled at their antics. "Don't risk it Tugger, he'll do it. Etcetera would have a heart attack if you showed up at the Junkyard like that."

"And we can't have that, now can we?" Misto purred, running his claws lightly through his mate's mane to work out a snag. Abruptly the peaceful moment was interrupted by a sneeze.

"Oh dear." Victoria gasped as she and Tugger sprang to their paws, both looking around, ears perked for any signs of what had happened this time. Mistoffelees was doing the same but cringing with guilt.

After several moments they all slowly returned to a seated position, Tugger placing an arm about the magician's shoulders.  
"I think," he began cautiously, not wanting to tempt fate "I think it's over."

"Oh Everlasting Cat, I hope so!" Misto sighed and rested his head on his sister's shoulder.

Victoria nuzzled him between his ears but stopped when she noticed something. "What happened to the food bowl?"

Meanwhile on the other side of London...

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you miss." The henchcat cautioned Lady Griddlebone as she approached Macavity's lair.

The beautiful Angora blinked in surprise "I'm only here to make my usual report on the business down by the docks. He should be expecting me. Why? Did something come up?"

"More like something came down." The young minion dared to chuckle. "Big bowl of liver patte appeared out of no where and konked the Boss right on the noggin. He's out like a blown light bulb and I don't know about you, but I sure as Hell don't want to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to brother Q. Dracul for the brainstorming session which led to that poor Mastiff getting turned into a Chihuahua.


End file.
